ET 101: “What is It?”

Did you arrive on the planet without a set of instructions? Have you ever secretly suspected you were adopted — from another less dysfunctional world? Is your genetic coding giving you trouble recently? Do you vaguely recall a reason for being here, but are pretty sure your current job is not it? Hang in there. These times and this book are for you.

For those of you who left your galaxy for the Mission to Planet Earth without the instruction manual, Mission Control has granted an unprecedented second chance to remind you of what you already know — but either forgot or misfiled. Now that you have yourself completely disassembled, why not take a moment to read the instructions?

This manual is a transmission from fifth-dimensional sources, written expressly for the awakening human population who asked that it be published. It is not a book. It is a technology — designed to awaken you from your evolutionary slumber. We hope you enjoy it.

May The Force Be With You!